I’ve been feeling a little disconnected from myself lately. I’m old enough now to sense when this is starting to happen, and smart enough to know I need to do something about it immediately, or it won’t be long before it results in a full blown meltdown. That’s one of the upsides about being so vulnerable – life is so raw which means you notice changes quickly, and as a result you can never stray too far from your deepest self. When I feel things starting to unravel, here are three things I commit to doing to cultivate that connection:
1. Create Space
The number one reason why I start to lose myself is I begin giving into all the distractions around me, and stop creating intentional space for myself. Sometimes this comes from laziness, or a big life change will throw me off and I’ll lose myself in the process of trying to acclimatise. Giving into distractions is not about being ‘too busy’, we all experience being busy. You can be busy and still create intentional space for yourself. My intentional space for the last few months has been waking up at 5:30am and getting to a cafe at 6am, every day, to allow myself time to think, create, get inspired, day-dream, before I get to work. Create space, take it and notice when you’re not making it a priority.
2. Desire Intimacy
Intimacy is unbelievably convoluted, and a totally subjective experience for everyone. For me, my desire for intimacy represents how in touch I am with my deepest self. I know nowadays that losing my desire for intimacy usually means I have more basic needs that aren’t being met (security, stability etc) but it can be an insightful way to figure out what’s out of balance, and an insightful way to start exploring once I figure that out. For me, intimacy is a perfect door into the wild, instinctual self and while there are sometimes more important things than being wild, noticing how I feel about intimacy can be helpful in figuring out how deep my connection is to life.
3. Travel, Anywhere
Travel, movement, change are fast ways to release stagnation and bring me back to myself. Travel itself creates space, and the change of environment often gives me a fresh perspective. It doesn’t have to be crazy travel – go on a road trip, go stay in a local hotel, or go interstate – do whatever’s possible in the moment. When my outer world is shaken up, my inner world becomes more clear and I’m able to work on deepening that connection. Ironically, once my inner world becomes clear, my outer world begins to align and life starts to work itself out.