soul

Your Soul Matters: Life Reconciliation 101

How often do you think about your soul desires? How often do you actively listen to the information your conscious mind, body, and soul are sending you?  Our social conditioning tells us this information is an unreliable way of making life decisions, and we should instead put our trust and faith more in the opinions of the people around us, what society tells us is the right path, and our subconscious response to the situation. And yet these are the most unreliable, fleeting and flippant information gathering systems we could base life decisions off. Doing so is unsustainable and will inevitably cause a large amount of pain and suffering.

I’ve battled with this my whole life. I listened to the opinions of other people, society and my often bizarre subconscious responses and tried to fit myself into the box the world wanted me to fit in. I took on jobs, relationships and allowed situations into my life, in the firm belief I was doing what was best for me, because that’s what all everyone and thing I was basing my life decisions off told me to do. But deep inside me there was a voice whispering ‘Are you sure about this Rachel’, and a quite but clear feeling that felt like a massive question mark throughout my body.

And what happened, was that I began to operate completely out of alignment. Human beings seem to be incredibly good at adapting to this way of living. We go months, years, decades being out of alignment with ourselves and barely notice. But eventually, that whispering voice becomes a blood curdling, arm-hair raising scream; and the quiet but clear question mark because a massive fucking exclamation mark, both which we can no longer ignore.  Not only can we no longer ignore them, but we also can’t bear to hold the weight of what’s now abundantly clear to us – that we actually chose this for ourselves – and this is where the pain and suffering come in. What tends to ensure – at least in my experience – is a monumental fucking train wreck.

This is an individual learning experience for everyone, and something you’ll undoubtedly have to go through yourself in order to learn. But if you want to avoid that as much as possible, I’m going to share with you a set of questions I’ve started to routinely ask myself. This process simply creates space for me to actually listen to the information my conscious mind, body and soul are giving. Not only do I want to make sure I’m in alignment, but I want to make sure my life is saturated by the fire in my soul, and I want to make sure I can keep the promises I’ve made to those I love most. To do both those things, I must listen to the information my conscious mind, body and soul provide, and prioritise it above all else.

Questions to ask your soul on a routine basis:

1) Is this job/person/situation good for my soul or calling?

2) Is this job/person/situation creating lightness or heaviness in my heart or body?

3) Is this job/person/situation expanding or contracting my life?

Where the answer is both, which is often the case because life is complex and messy, it’s important to dig deeper. For further clarification ask these questions:

1) What am I giving up to sustain this situation? If you are giving up your creativity, your innocence, your fire or your light, and it’s considered permanent and/or is being taken for granted by the job/person/situation, then I’d suggest you consider taking action to change the situation.

2) Is the situation creating qualities in me that make me a better or worse person? Sometimes, shit happens. Our parents are assholes, our job sucks, things didn’t turn out the way we thought they would etc. Often these situations are catalysts for deep growth in our lives and that’s why we find ourselves there. So ask yourself what qualities this is creating in you. Is it patience, perseverance, inner strength, or is it fear, insecurity, sadness or loneliness? If it’s the latter, do something about it.

3) Do you have healthy support networks in place to help you cope through this tough time? Who are you talking through the situation with? What self-care strategies do you have in place? If you don’t have any, it’s important to get some. In complex life situations where you’re struggling to cope, negative behaviours are born. Without adequate support networks, you could be creating unhealthy coping mechanisms and added trauma which is only going to extend your healing time.

This process is based on the idea that no one is a better teacher for your soul than you. And it’s true. You know yourself better than anyone, and we must start learning to trust ourselves and our life knowledge more. Your thriving soul is a crucially important part of living, and yet we often unintentionally sacrifice it for jobs/people and situations. Start putting your conscious mind, body and soul first, because really, what can you trust more in this life?

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